Other challenges and perks to this whole crazy ride

So, I've noticed that I am complaining about the lack of loss for my weight lately.  You know what's really funny, the scale doesn't always reflect what is really going on.  I just tried on and bought a pair of size 14s the other day, how crazy is that?!  I haven't wore a size 14 anything in about 18 years!  My body size is different today and I am even still about 30lbs heavier then when I wore a size 14 before.  Strange, but true.

I also frequently peruse a forum online for other Gastric Bypass patients and am thankful to have that resource as my "go to" for any of the wierd things I have experienced along the way.  Today, as I was glancing over the other posts I realized just how much I am not alone on this journey.  Someone was talking about how much hair they are losing.  I too just had experienced this and finally my is slowing down again.  I had super thick hair to begin with, so at first I was not to worried as I figured I could stand to lose a bit anyway.  However, a few weeks of hair like I'd never seen before coming out in my brushes, combs and in general really did freak me out.  I eventually upped my Biotin intake to 2000 ICUs a day and it did eventually slow done again, however, my hair is truly half as thick as it used to be.  It's weird to feel my hair now, it feels so thin.  But then again, my creative hair stylist in me has found a style that works and it does not appear to be very different again. 

Back to the size 14s...being in the dressing room putting that size on was so surreal to me.  A year ago, I was hard pressed to find a size 24 that would barely fit me.  That moment was so awful and such a blow to my self worth, it was just that awful.  When those 14s fit me, the opposite feeling washed over me, a sense of pure joy and accomplishment!  The number on the scale isn't always reflective of where our bodies are at size wise, and I think I need to remember that more often.  I thought I was at another plateau, but when I went to my doctor's the other day, I had still lost another 8lbs. since my last visit four weeks ago.  That is not truly a plateau and I need to get over it and quit thinking it's not happening, because it truly still is!  The prospect of where I'll be a year from now is in itself a scary one.  I have no idea what I'll feel or be like hitting that weight range of what I was in High School! Wow, that'll be a day!

I no longer eat chocolate bars, drink pop, eat fast-food, drink alcohol, or have any other types of junk food.  And I feel so much better for it!  This is a lifestyle change, the surgery doesn't do the work for you, it's a combination of eating right, exercising, and eating less.  These are all skills that I should have been doing in the first place!  Where I went wrong was not being accountable of what was going into my mouth.  I gave up and let myself go.  This is still NOT easy.  Getting the surgery was NOT the easy way out.  There are still the same challenges.  Losing weight, watching the scale not moving, drinking more fluids, eating less, eating right, exercising often, the type of exercise, etc...  Remember, the sensations I feel now when I eat are completely different than before surgery.  I've just recently began to get the "feel full" sensation again.  This comes back after your new pouch has completely healed, or so I've been told.  Before, I would just get that pushing down sensation and feel sick if I ate too much. Now, the full feeling has finally returned.  However, I don't like that feeling anymore and do what I can to avoid it, like eat less.

Another culprit I had struggled with pre-surgery was stress.  I've learned how to deal with stress better.  Stress was my number one killer for my weight.  I didn't think I was a stress eater and pretended that I didn't have that problem.  Who was I kidding?!  In the first two years I had my business, I gained 50lbs!  That was pure stress right there.  Now, after a tough day when i go to work out I feel a million times better.  And, nothing is worth stressing out that much over - to sacrifice your body's well being.  I prefer to be content and not think about things like I used to.  I have to tell my mind to shut off when I get home.  As soon as I walk through that door, I quit thinking about my day and rejoice in being home and doing my own personal things.  My new lesson in life, I do NOT take work home with me anymore.  I stay away from the conflict as much as possible.  All this used to wear me out in the past and I have come to realize I don't deal well with that kind of stress.  My new solution, I chose not to entertain it at all!  It's okay to walk away and not have to fix everything.  A big realization for me and I am only to happy to not have it anymore.  If I want to live a full life, I need to not stress more than necessary.  This will still continue to be a daily battle for me, as I blame it on my type "A" personality.  But admitting it is the first step to recovery:)  This was a big factor in me being overweight and I've come to realize it and take action in no longer allowing stress to take over my life.

So, amongst other things, I have come to realize that dealing with stress is important on this new journey.  Creating less of it is really the key.  Focus on the positives, and life in general just gets a bit easier. 

Controlling my weight correlates exactly to how "out of control" my life can be if the weight is out of control.  Right now, I am back on track and doing well.  I have another year or so to hit my goal and begin the maintaining process.  Hopefully by then my habits will be natural and I will be in another phase of my life where weight will no longer be the issue, as the stress will be at a minimal level.

A nice day that will be...

Until next time!

Daphne 

Frustrated, only at 85lbs loss since last post...

I promised myself I'd keep writing no matter what as I went through this process.  I still feel really good and have been working out, still eating well and doing everything I am supposed to do.  However, at the moment the scale is not reflecting too well.  I suppose this is the second stall I've had since I've started this process and I need to know it's just part of it.  My clothes are fittting bigger, so I know I am continuing to lose the inches, but the weight part hasn't caught up yet.

So, hopefully soon I'll break that number that seems to pop up on my scale every time I weight in.  Literally in the last four days I've stayed the exact same.  I know part of my problem is my liquid intake isn't as it could be.  It's always something.  And I know my protein intake isn't what it should be either.  It's hard to continually keep thinking about eating and drinking.  But seriously, I don't eat more than 800 calories per day, nor do I drink less than 32oz. of fluids per day.  It'll come, patience is needed.

This will be a short write-up, as I am still a bit discouraged not much loss has occured this past month.  But back in September for about 3-4 weeks I experienced the same problem their too.  I just have to keep one foot in front of the other and not worry about it.  It'll come.

Good quote for today:

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them –every day begin the task anew. 

-Saint Francis De Sales