I have been losing a tad too quickly in this last round (I believe about 12lbs in less than three weeks). At this point, I need to stop and take a breath and absorb where I am at. My clothes are still not able to keep up with me, and now I am really starting to notice the hair loss aspect of this journey. They say from 3-6 months hair loss is normal. At first my attitude was, "I could stand to lose a bit of hair anyway, so no biggie". Well, going through it is another thing altogether! I can't get over how much hair is coming out everyday. Back in my hairdressing days I frequently preached that it was normal to lose 80-100 hairs per day. But I know what I am losing now is far more than that! I know my body is still trying to adjust with the whole 500 calories per day and all the movement I now do since I am not carrying around that extra 62lbs anymore. I did buy some Nioxin hair products as suggested by a friend, but it doesn't seem to be slowing it down any.
I am trying not to be too vain, but my hair was always my "crowning glory" - no pun intended:) I am blessed to have a full thick head of hair like my father and I would like to carry on that tradition. Well, perhaps it won't be as bad as I think it will be and once my body starts to settle down again after the six months period, I'll be able to get some back.
This is a challenge, I know I've said it before but I'll say it again. The last few days I haven't been taking all my vitamins and my liquids are not as plentiful. I think I just get tired of constantly having to think about getting it all in.
This is going to be a short entry, but I felt it important to document that frustration with the hair loss. I honestly thought I didn't have to worry about it. But, hence, I am.
Also, for the record, it is October 31st - Halloween and I have not had ANY candy this year! That in itself is a friggen miracle! I do allow myself a sliver of a bday cake at work. It was a poppyseed, maple nutty topping cake. It was delightful, and I am glad that I was able to partake in the celebration, but in a very minor way. You can't always say "No".
Here's my quote this week:
"Insist on yourself. Never imitate."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
59lbs and the rewards are plentiful already!
Today, I crossed my legs for the first time in years! Yesterday, I cleaned the house and unloaded the dishwasher and continue to house clean for hours...prior to the surgery my back and knees wouldn't allow me to stand for more than a few minutes at a time. Stairs, oh I used to hate stairs. My husband would have to carry the laundry baskets up and down for me. My balance and mobility to go up and down were greatly diminished as the weight went higher. It was embarassing, it was humiliating, now my knees and my back don't ever hurt anymore. I went shopping this past weekend, sat in a dressing room cheering at myself in the mirror as my size 26 body is now down to a size 20. YAY ME! I even did a spin class with one of my co-workers the other day and did not stop for more than a few seconds, twice. Now of course I wasn't "spinning" as hard as they other people in the room, but I could do it! A few months ago, there would have been no way that I could have done that class. Celebrating all these milestones these past few weeks has been so motivating. I am over the moon happy with my progress and know it's just the beginning!
That is why I am sharing my story as I go. There will be some tough times, as I don't see the scale move, or that eating is no longer a comfort to me like it used to be. Then, there will be some great times as this last week has been day after day!
I am four days away from my three months since surgery and I am down a total of 59lbs! I had set a goal by the time I went home for Christmas - the first Christmas I've been home in over five years, that I would be down 70-75lbs by then. It looks like I'm on track to be close to that, if not in par with that goal. It's true, can I eat better? Can I exercise more? Sure, but the fact that I've already made the changes that I have is already proof enough that I am on the right track.
One word of advice for those out there watching their loved ones go through this process. Don't offer advice or you need to do this while we go through this process. We know! We are living it everyday. We know you care and want the best for us, but remember we are humans that have endured a lot to get to this point. We are literally taking baby steps to absorb what has happened to our bodies. We cannot possibly eat like we used to anyway, so for now that is not going to be a problem. Exercise, sure, but make it all about having fun to where it's not like exercise. I shopped for four hours the other day, that was way more fun then walking on a treadmill or riding the stationary bike. I get up all the time now. I go for walks on my lunch break, I get up from my desk more frequently. It's work in progress. But I do move more than I did before. I imagine as I get thinner I will be able to wear nicer work-out clothes where I'll start to feel more comfortable in a gym setting, I'm just not quite there yet.
We will get there, be patient. We aren't doing anything wrong, we are doing what we are suppose to do. The weight is coming off, lives are being changed. Life is pretty overwhelming right now. Don't add to it. Words of encouragement and love are all that we need. All the other stuff is what drove the scale up in the first place. We need to feel good about us and where we are going. So...focus on the positive now, not the negatives. We are done with the negatives, that why we got the surgery in the first place.
And for those people out there who think we took the easy way out, go, do it and see if it is. It's not! It's hard, eating has changed forever for me. I can't "enjoy" it like I used to. It hurts sometimes to eat, sometimes I have to throw up. Sometimes it feels like someone is punching me repeatedly in the chest when things don't quite agree. Liquids, I'm lucky if I get down 40oz a day, that's a good day. I can't eat/drink at the same time nor would I want to now because I'd get sick. I spent a lot of money to get this done, I certainly don't want to waste that investment.
Overall, I thank god everyday for showing me the way to do this surgery. I wished I had done it sooner! Every morning is like Christmas when I wake up and decide what to wear that day. Seeing my transformation in the mirror, hearing it from others who look back twice as they past me in the hallway. That is why I do it. I feel good again. I feel like I should for a 39 year old woman.
Leaving you with this quote, another favorite of mine:
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt
That is why I am sharing my story as I go. There will be some tough times, as I don't see the scale move, or that eating is no longer a comfort to me like it used to be. Then, there will be some great times as this last week has been day after day!
I am four days away from my three months since surgery and I am down a total of 59lbs! I had set a goal by the time I went home for Christmas - the first Christmas I've been home in over five years, that I would be down 70-75lbs by then. It looks like I'm on track to be close to that, if not in par with that goal. It's true, can I eat better? Can I exercise more? Sure, but the fact that I've already made the changes that I have is already proof enough that I am on the right track.
One word of advice for those out there watching their loved ones go through this process. Don't offer advice or you need to do this while we go through this process. We know! We are living it everyday. We know you care and want the best for us, but remember we are humans that have endured a lot to get to this point. We are literally taking baby steps to absorb what has happened to our bodies. We cannot possibly eat like we used to anyway, so for now that is not going to be a problem. Exercise, sure, but make it all about having fun to where it's not like exercise. I shopped for four hours the other day, that was way more fun then walking on a treadmill or riding the stationary bike. I get up all the time now. I go for walks on my lunch break, I get up from my desk more frequently. It's work in progress. But I do move more than I did before. I imagine as I get thinner I will be able to wear nicer work-out clothes where I'll start to feel more comfortable in a gym setting, I'm just not quite there yet.
We will get there, be patient. We aren't doing anything wrong, we are doing what we are suppose to do. The weight is coming off, lives are being changed. Life is pretty overwhelming right now. Don't add to it. Words of encouragement and love are all that we need. All the other stuff is what drove the scale up in the first place. We need to feel good about us and where we are going. So...focus on the positive now, not the negatives. We are done with the negatives, that why we got the surgery in the first place.
And for those people out there who think we took the easy way out, go, do it and see if it is. It's not! It's hard, eating has changed forever for me. I can't "enjoy" it like I used to. It hurts sometimes to eat, sometimes I have to throw up. Sometimes it feels like someone is punching me repeatedly in the chest when things don't quite agree. Liquids, I'm lucky if I get down 40oz a day, that's a good day. I can't eat/drink at the same time nor would I want to now because I'd get sick. I spent a lot of money to get this done, I certainly don't want to waste that investment.
Overall, I thank god everyday for showing me the way to do this surgery. I wished I had done it sooner! Every morning is like Christmas when I wake up and decide what to wear that day. Seeing my transformation in the mirror, hearing it from others who look back twice as they past me in the hallway. That is why I do it. I feel good again. I feel like I should for a 39 year old woman.
Leaving you with this quote, another favorite of mine:
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Saturday, October 13, 2012
11 wks - 55lbs! Broke that Plateau:)
Well, finally this week I broke that darn plateau. It took me nearly three weeks to see that scale move back down again, talk about a tough battle of wits. No matter what means one uses to lose weight, the journey itself remains the same. It's funny because I'm lucky if I eat 500-600 calories/day but yet I lose weight at this point like before when on Weight Watchers. But, the big difference is this is a good steady pace and I don't have the hunger or want to eat like I did before.
That is the biggest change I've noticed up to this point. The fact that eating is no longer a fun thing to be enjoyed. It's actually a pain to eat, because it doesn't always agree with you and you are struggling to keep up with the three meals a day, getting your liquids in and primarily ensuring you meet at least your 50grams/day in proteins. It's exhausting to focus on these elements and you literally have to be thinking about it all day, even though you are not in the least hungry.
So, again, for comparison purposes, I am going to post some pictures again so you can see the results thus far:
I think the visual is always important. It is nice to mention no more blood pressure meds, I've lost 6 inches off my waist, my shoe size has already dropped a half size.
That is the biggest change I've noticed up to this point. The fact that eating is no longer a fun thing to be enjoyed. It's actually a pain to eat, because it doesn't always agree with you and you are struggling to keep up with the three meals a day, getting your liquids in and primarily ensuring you meet at least your 50grams/day in proteins. It's exhausting to focus on these elements and you literally have to be thinking about it all day, even though you are not in the least hungry.
Yesterday, I had my first puking incident. I have been queasy and nauseated all week, my boss pointed out that perhaps it was induced my stress - after that statement I realized he was right. At any rate, it was the end of the week when I came home last night and decided to eat something before we went to the movie. I had a stuffed chicken breast, in which I had eaten twice before with no incidents. But like everything else this week, when I began to eat the chicken I could feel it wasn't going well. I pushed on and eat nearly half of the chicken. Big mistake, that horrible pressure built up in my new stomach area and I could feel the nausea again coming on. I got myself to the bathroom just in time and sure enough every bit of that chicken came back up. I knew better, garlic is definitely one of the culprits since I don't seem to do well with anything in garlic either. Immediately after I couldn't stand that taste in my mouth so I grabbed a sugar-free orange popsicle and felt better right away. I drank probably 3 1/2 - 16oz bottles that day, so for me that was very successful.
Today, I feel so much better. I good night's rest and feeling less stressed has made all the difference. I was going to do a 5K today, but felt that my three work-out sessions this week were sufficient and that I would most definitely go to the gym tomorrow instead.
Walking, a whole other world to me now. I had been part of a walking group on campus, where I work over the summer months and at my heaviest I was struggling to keep up with the group. I would have to always turn back mid-way and start heading back because I wasn't fast enough to keep up with the faster walkers. The other day a co-worker and myself did an entire walk that would have been done with my group, plus the walk back to our building in 45mins....I was talking the entire time and felt great! The other walks were about 1hr. 10mins for me to complete so the difference to me is staggering, to say in the least. 55lbs. sure makes a difference and it has made the difference! I feel so much better.
For those still wondering if they should do this surgery - I'm telling you it is exactly what someone needs that has any issues with weight or food. I know I am still in the beginning process and have a ways to go to show the final results, but I have NEVER lost 55lbs. before and lord knows I've been on enough diets in my lifetime where I could have had the opportunity to lose the weight. I think the best I ever did was nearly 30lbs a couple of different occasions.
 |
| 2 weeks after surgery |
 |
| Before at my heaviest |
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| 8/27/12 - 4 weeks after surgery |
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| 10/11/12 - 11 weeks after surgery |
I think the visual is always important. It is nice to mention no more blood pressure meds, I've lost 6 inches off my waist, my shoe size has already dropped a half size.
Super excited and happy at where I am at for me. Remember, this is only about yourself and no one else. No one else can tell you what to do with your body, but when you are indeed ready to take on this challenge, just think of all other things you can achieve once this achievement has been succeeded?!
I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems, Author Unknown
I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems, Author Unknown
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.
If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't;
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't;
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose you're lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind.
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
My first plateau, so frustrating
So, it finally happened my first plateau! It's not a great feeling, but at the same time I know it's to be expected. I have now just started to really introduce working out to my schedule, so I am hoping that'll change it up to where I can start seeing the scale drop more. However, on the plus side in a good way, my clothes keep getting bigger, so I am convinced even though one doesn't lose weight all the time, the inches continue to go away.
I feel a lot better than nearly 50lbs ago. When I walked the treadmill yesterday for a total of 40 mins, I did not feel any pain whatsoever on my knees or fatigue at all. If I had walked that before, I'd feel and my body would have hated me. So much more energy and that overall feeling of tiredness and fatigue does not occur like it did before.
So, as I write this I am planning to go to the gym a total of 4 times per week, 1hr. per day. I am starting out slowly to work up my stamina and strength. Eventually I would like to be able to have the stamina and strength to enjoy day long hikes here for next summer. Alaska has so many wonderful hiking trails, but sadly I have to really explore them since my arrival over two years ago. Being too heavy prevented me from feeling like I could be any fun to explore with. So, my vow is by next summer, I will conquer and hike like I've never done before!
This is a short entry today, because the frustration of this latest plateau has really diminished my excitement. The emotional roller coaster of diets in general is not my favorite issue and in years past this is usually where I'd give up and say the heck with it. However, I have to tell myself I have never lost 49lbs all at once before and this is to be expected. I am not "cheating" and that is why I still get frustrated. I am getting in about 50-60grams of protein per day and my liquids are still a struggle. I am lucky if I get 30-40oz of fluids per day.
I am still having bouts of eating something one day, it agrees with me, and then the very next day I eat it again and boom, doesn't agree with me. It's also frustrating. Don't ever go buy a lot of what you think will agree with you, because it doesn't always mean it will.
When I started this blog, my intention was to state all the positives and negatives so others could see the possible journey they could have. If you're like me, knowing a lot of the ups and downs to a process can help you better prepare for what lies ahead. I still feel there is nothing like experiencing it though. The psychological aspect is more than I thought it would be. I feel great, my clothes are all getting too big for me and I am complimented daily on how much I've changed. However, that stupid scale still doesn't have the numbers I want yet and that has always been a battle for me.
At least it's not that number I saw three months ago! That's all the matters right now. I am not on blood pressure meds anymore and the worst of the surgery is behind me. Moving ahead, will get through this!
I feel a lot better than nearly 50lbs ago. When I walked the treadmill yesterday for a total of 40 mins, I did not feel any pain whatsoever on my knees or fatigue at all. If I had walked that before, I'd feel and my body would have hated me. So much more energy and that overall feeling of tiredness and fatigue does not occur like it did before.
So, as I write this I am planning to go to the gym a total of 4 times per week, 1hr. per day. I am starting out slowly to work up my stamina and strength. Eventually I would like to be able to have the stamina and strength to enjoy day long hikes here for next summer. Alaska has so many wonderful hiking trails, but sadly I have to really explore them since my arrival over two years ago. Being too heavy prevented me from feeling like I could be any fun to explore with. So, my vow is by next summer, I will conquer and hike like I've never done before!
This is a short entry today, because the frustration of this latest plateau has really diminished my excitement. The emotional roller coaster of diets in general is not my favorite issue and in years past this is usually where I'd give up and say the heck with it. However, I have to tell myself I have never lost 49lbs all at once before and this is to be expected. I am not "cheating" and that is why I still get frustrated. I am getting in about 50-60grams of protein per day and my liquids are still a struggle. I am lucky if I get 30-40oz of fluids per day.
I am still having bouts of eating something one day, it agrees with me, and then the very next day I eat it again and boom, doesn't agree with me. It's also frustrating. Don't ever go buy a lot of what you think will agree with you, because it doesn't always mean it will.
When I started this blog, my intention was to state all the positives and negatives so others could see the possible journey they could have. If you're like me, knowing a lot of the ups and downs to a process can help you better prepare for what lies ahead. I still feel there is nothing like experiencing it though. The psychological aspect is more than I thought it would be. I feel great, my clothes are all getting too big for me and I am complimented daily on how much I've changed. However, that stupid scale still doesn't have the numbers I want yet and that has always been a battle for me.
At least it's not that number I saw three months ago! That's all the matters right now. I am not on blood pressure meds anymore and the worst of the surgery is behind me. Moving ahead, will get through this!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Yay, down 49lbs from my Heaviest!
Hi Everyone!
This has been a great day for me. I woke up and weighed myself this morning and was absolutely astounded to see the number on the scale reflect a 49lbs loss total from my heaviest weight (this was last January). The further I get away from that number the happier I will be!!!
Tonight, after work I went swimming with a co-worker of mine. It felt great even though we only swam for 30 minutes. I pushed myself a bit and felt great at the time, a big difference from six months ago. Then I could only swim a length at a time. Tonight I was doing two at a time and actually probably could have done more had I not been waiting up on my friend. I didn't want to get too ahead of her. It was probably just as well, i am feeling it now as I write this.
My stamina is back, my mind isn't as sharp as it was pre-surgery though. I get frustrated at work as I tend to not think as cohesively as I did pre-surgery. Is suspect the lack of food and energy sources may be the culprit. I know I shouldn't drink caffeine, but perhaps it would help a bit more in my mind area.
The difference in the way I move is amazing. That extra nearly 50lbs was just dreadful. I can' t believe I allowed myself to get that big?! Now that I've gotten it off, I can see I am so much better off. I have not weighed this latest number since about 2006. My goal is by the time I go home for Christmas this year, to be down a total of 75lbs! That would be super awesome.
I have quit playing facebook games and now have spent more of my free time planning my new regimen for the healthier me. It's a lot of work to plan meals and figure out what exercise one can do to "change it up" and keep it interesting.
This is a quick post, but I will post some more pictures here in the upcoming weeks. I think it has been becoming even more noticeable in the past ten pounds.
I feel so darn good, it is so nice to have lost more weight at one time than ever before. I have hit a monumental milestone for myself today and I feel great!
Here's a great quote:
"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
This has been a great day for me. I woke up and weighed myself this morning and was absolutely astounded to see the number on the scale reflect a 49lbs loss total from my heaviest weight (this was last January). The further I get away from that number the happier I will be!!!
Tonight, after work I went swimming with a co-worker of mine. It felt great even though we only swam for 30 minutes. I pushed myself a bit and felt great at the time, a big difference from six months ago. Then I could only swim a length at a time. Tonight I was doing two at a time and actually probably could have done more had I not been waiting up on my friend. I didn't want to get too ahead of her. It was probably just as well, i am feeling it now as I write this.
My stamina is back, my mind isn't as sharp as it was pre-surgery though. I get frustrated at work as I tend to not think as cohesively as I did pre-surgery. Is suspect the lack of food and energy sources may be the culprit. I know I shouldn't drink caffeine, but perhaps it would help a bit more in my mind area.
The difference in the way I move is amazing. That extra nearly 50lbs was just dreadful. I can' t believe I allowed myself to get that big?! Now that I've gotten it off, I can see I am so much better off. I have not weighed this latest number since about 2006. My goal is by the time I go home for Christmas this year, to be down a total of 75lbs! That would be super awesome.
I have quit playing facebook games and now have spent more of my free time planning my new regimen for the healthier me. It's a lot of work to plan meals and figure out what exercise one can do to "change it up" and keep it interesting.
This is a quick post, but I will post some more pictures here in the upcoming weeks. I think it has been becoming even more noticeable in the past ten pounds.
I feel so darn good, it is so nice to have lost more weight at one time than ever before. I have hit a monumental milestone for myself today and I feel great!
Here's a great quote:
"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
6 weeks nearly and down 40lbs!
Well here we are, six weeks from surgery and now I am really starting to see and feel a difference. I am going to include some pictures in this one as the progression of my change is beginning to become apparent. This morning I had to toss three pairs of dress pants aside because they were just too big to wear at all now. Before surgery, they were so tight I really didn't want to go the next size up. What a great feeling! I think the pictures will speak for themselves.
|
| 2 weeks after surgery-27lbs down |
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| about 5 weeks after surgery-36lbs down |
|
| At my heaviest ever! |
As a write this now and see the differences here I am astounded of the difference already. Look how puffy I was in the picture on the left. I was eating anything I wanted, and it showed. I never want to go back to that again! I could hardly move, to go up and down stairs to tie my shoes, all of it was too hard. I never thought that would happen to me. But it did. Deciding to do the surgery probably saved my life, or even prolonged it for many more years. I know I still have a lot of the journey to complete, but I have started and now am in the "mode". I can no longer eat what I want, my body cannot tolerate most foods just yet. And even when it does, I won't be able to eat more than a half cup to a full cup in one meal. Fine by me!
I have now progressed to both semi and hard foods. I am just so thankful not to be eating that crappy pureed stuff. The re-fried beans, apple sauce, and instant mashed potatoes were getting very old! Today I ate my first protein chip and it was awesome! That "crunch" felt great, it had been over a month and a half since I've had that sensation. I only could eat about 5 of them, but just savoring each bite was enough for me!
I look forward to the upcoming weeks of integrating my exercise program and learning how to work it all together. I still have a ways to go, but I feel confident that I can get there!
Until next time!
Daphne
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Back to work- great one week, not so much next...
I went back to work a week ago, and the first week felt fine. I was getting back my stamina and was working up to a big event on Saturday. Unfortunately, I think I overdid it and did not drink much on Saturday as I got too busy and probably only drank about 8oz. of fluids all day. By Sunday I was feeling a touch of nausea. Monday at work, I was struggling, but I had so much to do I felt like I need to push through it all.
Then today, even after a great night's sleep, I woke up proceeded to get dressed and ready for work and as I was walking out the door I felt the nausea come back again. I decided to try and tough it out again, but by mid-afternoon I no longer could stop thinking about it. I just came home at that point. I got onto the forums that I usually frequent on obesityhelp.com and found someone going through the same thing but on a much grander scale to where she had to go to the E.R.. It appears I may have a touch of dehydration. I am not surprised because lately the plain water is just not going down too well. I've tried herbal tea and other liquids, but it just isn't getting me back on track. So, tonight is my goal to just keep drinking fluids until I go to bed. Perhaps this will be the answer.
I have always had a tough time drinking enough and eating enough at work. This has been a bad habit of mind for years and it'll be more important now to make sure it doesn't continue. Typically, before I got the surgery, I may eat lunch some days, or I would not. Most often I would come home so hungry and just start eating even before my dinner was ready. I would eat at night and then go to bed. That was one of my worst problems. Now, I am still forgetting as the day goes by to continually drink whatever is on my desk. I try to eat, but with this nauseous feeling I'm not hungry. At least at the moment, as I write this, I am drinking a 16oz. Crystal Light. I am hoping this will help, and when I did get home I had a sugar-free popsicle. As much as I don't feel like having anything I know this is important.
Funny, five weeks after surgery and this is when I start to not feel good. I was looking forward to my doctor's appointment next week so I could move up to soft foods. I sure hope I can stave off the hospital visit, if necessary I may have to stay home tomorrow and just rest up and drink more fluids around the clock. This is not fun!
For what's its worth, I did call the doctor's office and the nurse did tell me this was normal around where I"m at in recovery. I guess its my body trying to adjust and figure out what the heck is going on. As I sit here now, I realize that it won't be all smooth sailing. There will be times where I won't be perfect and I'll have to be okay with that. I am grateful that I have a great job and they are completely understanding.
Until next time....hopefully I'll be much better:)
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