I broke 70lbs, YAY! Officially 71lbs of loss!!!

So, just before I began to write this post I was going to talk about my strategy to break 70lbs this week.  Then, I thought to myself, lets weigh-in right now even though I weighed in yesterday and see if it's happened yet...  Long and behold, I am at 71lbs of loss!

But the real reason I felt inclined to write today, is because yesterday I went shopping and I didn't really mean to buy a whole lot because I am about to take a three week holiday and figured I'd have lots of time then to "browse".  Well, you know what they say when you are on a roll while shopping, "Strike the iron while its hot!"  I was doing that little dance of joy right in the dressing room itself.  I had grabbed some smaller sizes as I suspected I was getting down some and it was time to see if I was there yet.  I am proud to report (this isn't my final goal, but for now I'm completely happy about this) that I am down to a size 18 on the pants and can wear XL and 1X on top.  I am officially out of the those god awful 20s.  Another couple of sizes and I'll be able to start shopping again the "normal" section and not have to pick through the awful plus sizes that always seem to try to make you like worse than you already do.  I hate plus sizes.  They pick floral imprints or colors or shapes that just are dreadful.  That is why I wear a lot of black. It's a normal basic staple that you can't screw up.  But, as I have been losing weight I have found I am buying other colors again.  However, yesterday, I did buy two pairs of black pants and then another pair of the blue jeans I had in a 22, now in the size 18 - because the 22s are being held up by a belt.  I have lost about 5 inches off my bustline now, maybe even more.  I never took all my measurements at the beginning (I think I did not really want to know how bad off I was). 

I leave for my Christmas Vacay in 6 days.  I am looking forward to this trip, because I know this will give my family a chance to see the changes up close.  Not just my physical looks, but also how I eat and move.  I know they've been concerned about my health for a few years, and rightfully so.  Back when I had my own business, I worked 60-80hrs/week, ate once a day, no exercise, and drank too much.  I was so unhealthy back then.  My blood pressure was high and I was so stressed out.  Then we sold our business back in '04 and I thought I'd take care of myself back then.  I even considered the surgery back then too, but opted not to since I could do it on my own.  I was too busy enjoying myself and traveling to even really truly do something about it.  Then my husband himself had two health scares in two years.  I totally forgot about myself and then eventually went back to work full-time as the economy went down hill and found ourselves in a crunch just like everyone else.  And from there on, my weight crept back up.

But enough of that, I have finally done something about it and it's working!  I am trying to eat different things each day as I don't want to be stuck eating the same thing day in/day out. 

Trying on clothes is so much fun now!  It'll be nice when I can look in the mirror and see my problem areas totally gone.  I am still waiting for that to happen.  My mid-section has always been a source of frustration and once I see that disappear I'll feel truly free of the unsightly bulges.

Yes, I am excited!  The thought that when I get back from my Christmas break, that I'll actually be down another few pounds and maybe even dare to think I'll be down 80lbs by then is amazing!  I am so stoked! 

Once again, best thing I ever did for myself.  I can't stress that enough to others who are thinking about doing this for themselves.  Its drastic and your life changes in more ways than you can imagine, however, the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Which brings me to my final point for today - I hate negative comments or thoughts.  I have noticed when people try to bring others down and always have to make a negative statement in response to one you've made.  What's up with that?  It's always the same people too!  I feel sorry for these people.  They must be truly unhappy in life.  Here's a thought for everyone reading this, think before you speak or write, is my negative comment really a valid point or am i lashing out because it's my usual response.  Why is it that I am doing this?  There's a book and video series out there called "The Secret".  I recommended negative nay-sayers to read about this concept.  It basically talks about how positive thoughts and energies will bring forth positive results.  There is so much truth to this concept on a logical basis that I challenge those people to try it for awhile. 

Why must we be negative?  There are realists, then they're are just those party poopers.  Positivity is so much nicer to be around.  Negativity, I avoid like the plague.  When I am around negative people, it has a tendency to spread easily.  I have removed all negativity from my life.  I don't have time for it, it's a plague I no longer wish to catch.

Think about it, do something about it.  Here's the website for "The Secret":
http://www.thesecret.tv/thesecretbook/

Enjoy!

Day after Thanksgiving and the weight loss still continues, AWESOME!

Well, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous about this time of the year.  This is always the time of the year where I gain typically anywhere from 5-15lbs.  This is where I'd gain the weight for the year, every year and get heavier every year because of it.

Halloween, no candy = success!
Thanksgiving - I did not cook, therefore ate out instead = success!
***going home for Christmas, I have an incredible family support system, I already know = success!

I weighed in this morning showing a total of 68lbs of loss! Super excited and so truly thankful again that I chose to tackle this issue the way I did.  I always said to myself that I could lose the weight, the where/how/when was always the question.  Once again, the reason this works for me, I cannot physically eat more.  For me that is a true blessing.  For others, they may be mortified that they have to give up their enjoyment of eating and not find enjoyment in eating anymore.  For me, it was enjoy food - live shorter, or find a way not to make food my enjoyment and live longer! I chose the latter.  I love life and living.  I, if possible my god's good will, want to live a long and healthy life.  I realize that things happen and that perhaps someday something could happen to me that has nothing to do with my weight, but circumstances.  But if I can be the change in my life for better for now, that is more important.

Living each day, to the fullest.  That is what my goal is.  I work hard, play hard, and love hard.  I want my life to mean something to myself - because once I'm gone and those around me pass into the next life, no one else will remember.  I want to look back at my life and say to myself, "I tried everything and did all that I could do to live a good life."

Thus far, I have not been disappointed.  I have done so many extraordinary things to date, that I have lived more than I ever dreamed possible.  I have had an amazing childhood, great travels, many wonderful people I've met along the way, and lived in many different places.  I have been truly blessed with the tools of adjusting to life as it comes.  I've had my share of ups and downs, just like anyone else, but one constant that I try to do is push through everything, no matter what.  There have been tough times in recent years, but it has only made me stronger.  I believe things happen for a reason and learning for that reason alone is what we need to do.  It may not be clear right away, but as time presents itself - the answer will be revealed.  I write this blog, not to impress people, I write this blog simply to document all that I am going through in this journey.

Of all my challenges in life, which I've had many and those closest to me understand me and those challenges, the challenge of my weight is one of the biggest ones I've encountered.  I've struggled for so many years, as early as I can remember, as the one constant I could never ultimately overcome.  I was an average child and teenager.  Looking back now, I did not really have a noticeable weight issue until my early 20s.  However, I've always felt fat.  I could always lose 20lbs, 10lbs, 50lbs, or more.  The dressing rooms in countless stores, I would also curse at the mirror.  The clothes that didn't fit the way I wanted them too, or the things I wanted to wear, but could not.  Always trying to look my best has not always been easy for me.  Sometimes it was just easier not to care.  But as I find myself now approaching 40 this next year and being in a good place with myself mentally, I realize that I quite like myself after all!  Once I reach my first milestone of weight loss, I am going to be easier on myself and give myself a pat on the back for a job well done.  Once I get the final milestone of my ultimate weight loss goal, I will try my very best to maintain the loss, however, will not obsess about it.  My final gift to myself, be happy and don't let it be my life.  I will hopefully have learned all the new valuable ways to eat properly by this point and have daily exercise ingrained into my life that keeping the weight off will be fine.  I will never go back to where I started at, I remind myself daily how awful that felt both mentally and physically.  I do not know who that person was, I think I simply gave up.  I had no hope, was so enraged by that number on the scale I went into a state of denial.  The mirror and clothes though gave me a reality check.

It can be done.  Changing your life in whatever circumstance you need.  Just find the tools you need to help resolve your problem.  For me, pretending there wasn't one was my issue.  When I got the call about my dad's health this past year, it woke me up.  All that he is going through, is all that would await me if I continued down the path I had gone.  I realized then, as I do now that you are never too young and have so much time to figure things out.  I have lost friends in the past few years, who were not considered old and died for various reasons that perhaps death could have been avoided if they had taken better care of themselves.  I've almost lost my husband twice, both times in his 30s.  We are not immortal.  We are human beings and we have to take care of this one body we are given.

I apologize for this long ranting for today's post.  But, I felt it necessary to continue to reflect upon how I arrived at this point. Each day I find myself shaking my head, or nodding my head at some realization of what this weight loss has meant to me.  I know once I conquer this, I truly can do anything I put my mind too.

Here are some wonderful quotes that I find really inspirational:

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. 
Norman Vincent Peale 

Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox 

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Confucius 

If you can dream it, you can do it.
Walt Disney 


Until next time...

Learning from other's experiences...

Nothing is more helpful than those that are going through the same process as you.  I appreciate the support I get from friends and family, but there are so many questions, frustrations, and other feelings one goes through while you embark on this journey.  If someone ask me that they were considering this surgery, I certainly would have a lot of information and advice, but nothing prepares you for it fully until you are at that moment living it.

The information I learn and read about through online forums and clubs is so helpful and motivating that one bit of advice I would give, is be sure you have access to forums about obesity and specifically to those with people that have had the same type of surgery as you have.  So many little things along the way pop up that it's impossible to know it all before surgery.

I thought it'd be interesting to share with you some of the questions or revelations being shared so you can see what we go through on a daily basis.  I make sure I do this at least every day for now, as it keeps me motivated and at the same time some of my own questions get answered too, here are a few:

Well I have had two NSV's in the last two days:

Here they are

1. Had to get xrays done and needed to put on a gown, I fit in a regular gown and it tied! No more buttoning two gowns together for me!!

2. I tried on a size 16 pants today and they fit! Yup not even plus. That makes me feel good as it is officially half my former size! I started this journey at a tight 32! 

NSV= Non Scale Victory

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Living with Regret
I suppose I'm venting.  I started the process of gastric bypass at 429lbs I am now down to 364.  Before the surgery no one teased me, I was actually a very big healthy girl despite my weight, maybe it has something to do with my age which I just turned 27.  I was a very happy and out spoken person and the only time I've ever gotten sick is my once a year cold.  Now after the surgery I feel sick all the time.  I'm out of surgery for 5 weeks now and my doctor just told me to go on liquids for another week and I've been on them for one week already.  I feel like I'm going to die from starvation any minute now even though I'm not hungry.  I've gotten in about 800 calories over the last week.  I'm tired all the time.  I cry all the time.  I cry probably at least once a hour.  I'm nauseated and I throw up liquids. I throw up pills. I just think to myself was it better to be overweight and fulfilled; then become thinner and feel like I've given away my life? 

**Answers:

Dry those tears, Missy! Everyone has a bit or buyers remorse right after surgery.  Your body is in the early stages of healing.  Not to mention the crazy hormone swings from lack of nutrition and just having a very traumatic surgery!

You've been out of surgery for just 5 weeks.  Some people have an easy time, some do not.  But just about everyone, in the long run, is very pleased with the results.  Hang in there and do as you are told.  Don't be afraid to call your doctor's office every time you think you need to.I promise when you look back on this (in your skinny jeans!) you'll realize it was so worth it.

We are here for you too.
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Boy do I remember that time!

The good news: you are not alone. Many of us feel this way in the first few months of surgery.

The bad news: that doesn't make you feel any better, does it?

Ok, here is the REALLY good news. This time next year it is likely you'll be half the size you are now. You may even be even healthier, more fit and more vibrant that you were the day you went into surgery. By then you will have had a host of "non-scale victories" that take you by surprise. They are different for us all. For some it's crossing your legs for the first time. For others it's buckling an airplane safety belt with ease or running a mile or WALKING a mile. But whatever that "thing" is for you, you're going to surprise yourself...and it's going to be pretty awesome.

So consider this a "dues paying" period of sorts. Your body is putting you through the ringer. The good thing about the human body is that it is designed to correct itself almost immediately after we alter it. So even now it's healing. And as it does you will begin to feel more human. It won't happen overnight but if you work with your surgical team and take care of yourself it will happen!

So take heart. It sucks. BELIEVE me I know! Everything made me sick in the first few months following surgery and I hated everything about not being able to eat my misery away. But it gets better. 

And if none of that helps there's this: I'm really happy you joined this board. Welcome!

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Alright, I'm tired of eating the same old food. I need some spice in my life. I've been eating chili, lunch meat, cheese, and shrimp mainly. Eggs kept making me sick so I had to give up on that, but I'm just starving (as it seems) and sometimes I don't want to eat just because I'm so bored of the food. Anyone have any examples of awesome food they were able to get away with? I.E, homemade thin pizza, seasoned chicken, etc. I've checked out recommended websites, but I just don't seem to see anything that catches the eye I guess.**Answers:

It will depend a lot on what you are allowed to eat and how far out you are.

You mention thin pizza how about crustless pizza? get Italian sausage spread it thin like crust on a broiler pan so there is a pan under it for any grease to drop into and brown it til it's cooked add tomato sauce, cheese and any other fave toppings you are allowed to have then put it back in the oven until the cheese is melted and the edges are brown.. or look up a recipe for coliflor crust pizza.

I love a good seasoned chicken sometimes with low sugar or sugar free bbq sauce.

Meatloaf goes down real well for me I just use ground beef, eggs, whole wheat crackers (sparingly) and seasoning topped with low sugar ketchup and bake.

while I can't handle most pork products I can eat about 2 bones of ribs..yummy. And I cook bacon in the microwave between two papertowels til crispy and the papertowels soak up all the grease. I then break them into pieces and eat like chips.

my friend who had this surgery loves cottage cheese with cinnamin and splenda. (I don't like cottage cheese so can't speak from personal experience)

good luck! I too get in a rut when I'm too lazy to cook but boy when I cook does it taste good!

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I eat a lot of steamed edamame, cottage cheese with a tsp of no sugar added preserves, Carb Master yogurt, pistachios, tender steak, shake n bake boneless pork chops, and protein ice cream from http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2008/08/protein-ice-cream.html

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I've been where you're at, so I started checking out alot of high protein/low carb
& WLS cookbooks from the library. My latest is checking out Pinterest since I'm more of a visual person and I like to see the pictures before I try a something new. I don't want to go thru the hassle of making a new recipe if it wont visually appeal to me in the end. 
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People Just Don't Understand

Only a select few people at my job know I plan to under go weightless surgery. Today I work I overheard two of my coworker Making fun of people who have procedure like this done; in general
not directed at me. It still however hurt. What they were saying was so mean and terrible. I could not beleive my ears. I dont understand How people can be so mean. I just need to walk away take a break.
This is my way of venting. Thanks for being here. November 27 is the First day of my new life.

**Answers:

Thanks, I only want a few people to know I am having the procedure specifically to avoid chitchat gossip that goes on in the office setting. My family and close friends are supportive whi h is the most important thing for me. This is clear example why I do not say anything to anyone about my decision.
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I have just learned to let it roll of my back because I know I needed this surgery. I am 1 week out and everyone knew i was having this done, only a few ppl have said bad things that actually knew me, the other bad things came from ppl that didnt know me and what i have been though. Just pay no mind to these ppl most ppl who say bad things are either jealous they cant do it themselves and/or dont want you to be happy, you know mesiry loves company and the ones who are naturally skinny they just dont get it and when ppl dont understand something they automaticaly say bad things about it.

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You could speak up and tell them you don't think it's nice to make fun of people or that making fun of people that need surgery (any type of surgery) is inapproriate.  I would do that, personally, whether I had WLS or not.  Making fun of people is just not OK.

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Wonder what your HR department would have to say?

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I cant eat any meat, not even tuna. After a couple of bites I get a sharp pain then vomit. I told the dietition at my dr's office & she said to just keep trying. Anyone else have this issue? Any advice would be great. Thanks!

**Answers:

I did not move to solid foods until I was 8 weeks out.  My thinking is that it is just too early.  Sometimes meat is too dry or the pieces are too large to be chewed well.  I would take a step back to soft foods then try again in a couple of weeks.
The first time I tried chicken I got the foamies and very sick.  I was not able to eat chicken until I was about  or 7 months out.  Just be patient.  What you are experiencing is not unusual.

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I am 5 months out and cannot stand to eat meat.  What a twist, huh?  I did ok in the beginning with meat and what I mean by that I was able to eat tuna, chicken if I chewed it to death and I can do fish. The meat has to be moist.  You have to give it a little while.  Just make sure you can eat other forms of protein. I know this can be problematic but at eight weeks I would focus on fluids and protein of the soft kind, yogurt, beans, cheese.  But first and formost it doesn't matter what I post, what is important is to eat the plan your surgeon has you on.  He may not even have the items I listed as foods to consume.  I can sympathize.  Best of luck! 

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So, I didn't know where else to go and I may call the doctor tomorrow.  But since I've lost 50lbs in the last 2 1/2 months, I think my skin is having a hard time keeping up.  My point being, the last two days I'm experiencing a rash right in the middle of my (sorry for the wording, fat roll on the bottom).  I am usually pretty good at showering and cleaning at least once a day.  I skipped my shower on Saturday and last night I noticed an odour. When I looked I about died.  So immediately I jumped in the shower and soaped and cleaned up the best I could.  Then I put on some talcum powder to help get it dry in there.  Of course my skin is irritated a bit and it burns a little bit.  I was fine until tonight, the same sensation and odour re-appeared.  So I soaked in a bubbly jet tub for like an hour.  Then I rinsed with the removable shower head really well with cooler water.  I added the talcum powder again.  It still burns.

So, is there anyway to get rid of this on my own, or do I have to get meds from the doctor?  I really prefer to clear things naturally, if possible.  I hate taking a pill for every little thing, if I don't have to.

Any advice or experiences would be great!  

Thank you!  

**Answers:

Your doctor can get you some medicated anti fungal powder. Also this sounds gross but it works and no one will know but you.

Take a clean sock, douse it in powder that has corn starch in it, Insert it into the folds of your skin so that the skin holds it in place, if you really have to use some medical tape to hold it in place.

The Sock and the cornstarch will wick away the moisture and your rash/fungus will be history.

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I'm certainly no doctor & there has been alot of good advice already.  However, I used to get severe rashes in the crease under my boobs (I know TMI) right after I had my 3rd daughter.  After not being able to deal with the uncomfortable burning anymore, I grabbed my daughters Creamy Desitin (diaper rash cream) & smeared some on the rash just before bedtime, then washed well in the morning.  It was a life savor & my body naturally healed it on its own with no issues or antifungal treatments.

Hope you find some relief!

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Doctor's office says to use a stick of deoderant, it helps create a dry barrier and allows for the fungus not to be able to "feed" off the moisture.  This works really well, however, if you've scratched, it'll burn.

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My 20th class reunion is on Saturday.  I was not a heavy teenager.  I did start to put on some weight my senior year, but nothing too major.  
I have kept in contact with a handful of people from my graduating class.  They have known me huge and now the new me.
I am so excited to be attending my reunion about 20lbs smaller than I was the day I graduated from high school.
I went to my 10 year and I remember fretting for months over finding an outfit.  I had just had a baby and felt so huge, even though I wasn't close to my highest weight.  NOW I can wear almost anything I want and I am having a hard time deciding because everything fits nice and I don't have to compromise my outfit for something that I have to wear just because it is my size.

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I could post so many more, but you get the idea.  I haven't edited the spelling or content because I wanted to keep it real.  This is real people going through Weight Loss Surgery (W.L.S. is the acronym used frequently).    As I continue to write this blog, I have learned a great deal about this process over the past year.  It has been about a year now since I took the first step in working towards getting this surgery.  In December of 2011 I had my first doctor's appointment.  July 26th was my surgery date.  As of this morning I have fluctuated again, down 61lbs.  I suspect this latest "stall" is due to the fact that my last round of loss lasted three weeks and lost another 12lbs.  My body tends to stop for a week or so and then the weight loss will resume again.  I have gotten used to this.  I don't "cheat", I stick to the same plan.  I don't eat less to try to lose weight and I don't overdo exercise or any other means.  I am trying for a new "healthier" approach and doing anything else distorts the real weight loss.

I know this will be a long road, a lifetime.  But, in the end I will be better for it and live a longer life.  I did this for me, and that's all that matters.

Here are some wise words to end this segment:

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." 

Herbert Otto

Until next time!!!!!!

Holding Steady at 62lbs, and that's ok!

I have been losing a tad too quickly in this last round (I believe about 12lbs in less than three weeks).  At this point, I need to stop and take a breath and absorb where I am at.  My clothes are still not able to keep up with me, and now I am really starting to notice the hair loss aspect of this journey.  They say from 3-6 months hair loss is normal.  At first my attitude was, "I could stand to lose a bit of hair anyway, so no biggie".  Well, going through it is another thing altogether!  I can't get over how much hair is coming out everyday.  Back in my hairdressing days I frequently preached that it was normal to lose 80-100 hairs per day.  But I know what I am losing now is far more than that!  I know my body is still trying to adjust with the whole 500 calories per day and all the movement I now do since I am not carrying around that extra 62lbs anymore.  I did buy some Nioxin hair products as suggested by a friend, but it doesn't seem to be slowing it down any.

I am trying not to be too vain, but my hair was always my "crowning glory" - no pun intended:)  I am blessed to have a full thick head of hair like my father and I would like to carry on that tradition.  Well, perhaps it won't be as bad as I think it will be and once my body starts to settle down again after the six months period, I'll be able to get some back.

This is a challenge, I know I've said it before but I'll say it again.  The last few days I haven't been taking all my vitamins and my liquids are not as plentiful.  I think I just get tired of constantly having to think about getting it all in.

This is going to be a short entry, but I felt it important to document that frustration with the hair loss.  I honestly thought I didn't have to worry about it.  But, hence, I am.

Also, for the record, it is October 31st - Halloween and I have not had ANY candy this year!  That in itself is a friggen miracle!  I do allow myself a sliver of a bday cake at work.  It was a poppyseed, maple nutty topping cake.  It was delightful, and I am glad that I was able to partake in the celebration, but in a very minor way.  You can't always say "No".

Here's my quote this week: 
"Insist on yourself.  Never imitate."  
        Ralph Waldo Emerson

59lbs and the rewards are plentiful already!

Today, I crossed my legs for the first time in years!  Yesterday, I cleaned the house and unloaded the dishwasher and continue to house clean for hours...prior to the surgery my back and knees wouldn't allow me to stand for more than a few minutes at a time.  Stairs, oh I used to hate stairs.  My husband would have to carry the laundry baskets up and down for me.  My balance and mobility to go up and down were greatly diminished as the weight went higher.  It was embarassing, it was humiliating, now my knees and my back don't ever hurt anymore.  I went shopping this past weekend, sat in a dressing room cheering at myself in the mirror as my size 26 body is now down to a size 20.  YAY ME!  I even did a spin class with one of my co-workers the other day and did not stop for more than a few seconds, twice.  Now of course I wasn't "spinning" as hard as they other people in the room, but I could do it!  A few months ago, there would have been no way that I could have done that class.  Celebrating all these milestones these past few weeks has been so motivating.  I am over the moon happy with my progress and know it's just the beginning!

That is why I am sharing my story as I go.  There will be some tough times, as I don't see the scale move, or that eating is no longer a comfort to me like it used to be.  Then, there will be some great times as this last week has been day after day!

I am four days away from my three months since surgery and I am down a total of 59lbs!  I had set a goal by the time I went home for Christmas - the first Christmas I've been home in over five years, that I would be down 70-75lbs by then.  It looks like I'm on track to be close to that, if not in par with that goal.  It's true, can I eat better? Can I exercise more?  Sure, but the fact that I've already made the changes that I have is already proof enough that I am on the right track.

One word of advice for those out there watching their loved ones go through this process.  Don't offer advice or you need to do this while we go through this process.  We know!  We are living it everyday.  We know you care and want the best for us, but remember we are humans that have endured a lot to get to this point.  We are literally taking baby steps to absorb what has happened to our bodies.  We cannot possibly eat like we used to anyway, so for now that is not going to be a problem.  Exercise, sure, but make it all about having fun to where it's not like exercise.  I shopped for four hours the other day, that was way more fun then walking on a treadmill or riding the stationary bike.  I get up all the time now.  I go for walks on my lunch break, I get up from my desk more frequently.  It's work in progress.  But I do move more than I did before.  I imagine as I get thinner I will be able to wear nicer work-out clothes where I'll start to feel more comfortable in a gym setting, I'm just not quite there yet.

We will get there, be patient.  We aren't doing anything wrong, we are doing what we are suppose to do.  The weight is coming off, lives are being changed.  Life is pretty overwhelming right now.  Don't add to it.  Words of encouragement and love are all that we need.  All the other stuff is what drove the scale up in the first place.  We need to feel good about us and where we are going.  So...focus on the positive now, not the negatives.  We are done with the negatives, that why we got the surgery in the first place.

And for those people out there who think we took the easy way out, go, do it and see if it is.  It's not!  It's hard, eating has changed forever for me.  I can't "enjoy" it like I used to.  It hurts sometimes to eat, sometimes I have to throw up.  Sometimes it feels like someone is punching me repeatedly in the chest when things don't quite agree.  Liquids, I'm lucky if I get down 40oz a day, that's a good day.  I can't eat/drink at the same time nor would I want to now because I'd get sick.  I spent a lot of money to get this done, I certainly don't want to waste that investment.

Overall, I thank god everyday for showing me the way to do this surgery.  I wished I had done it sooner!  Every morning is like Christmas when I wake up and decide what to wear that day.  Seeing my transformation in the mirror, hearing it from others who look back twice as they past me in the hallway.  That is why I do it.  I feel good again.  I feel like I should for a 39 year old woman.

Leaving you with this quote, another favorite of mine:

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. 
Eleanor Roosevelt 

11 wks - 55lbs! Broke that Plateau:)

Well, finally this week I broke that darn plateau.  It took me nearly three weeks to see that scale move back down again, talk about a tough battle of wits.  No matter what means one uses to lose weight, the journey itself remains the same.  It's funny because I'm lucky if I eat 500-600 calories/day but yet I lose weight at this point like before when on Weight Watchers.  But, the big difference is this is a good steady pace and I don't have the hunger or want to eat like I did before.

That is the biggest change I've noticed up to this point.  The fact that eating is no longer a fun thing to be enjoyed.  It's actually a pain to eat, because it doesn't always agree with you and you are struggling to keep up with the three meals a day, getting your liquids in and primarily ensuring you meet at least your 50grams/day in proteins.  It's exhausting to focus on these elements and you literally have to be thinking about it all day, even though you are not in the least hungry.

Yesterday, I had my first puking incident.  I have been queasy and nauseated all week, my boss pointed out that perhaps it was induced my stress - after that statement I realized he was right.  At any rate, it was the end of the week when I came home last night and decided to eat something before we went to the movie.  I had a stuffed chicken breast, in which I had eaten twice before with no incidents.  But like everything else this week, when I began to eat the chicken I could feel it wasn't going well.  I pushed on and eat nearly half of the chicken.  Big mistake, that horrible pressure built up in my new stomach area and I could feel the nausea again coming on.  I got myself to the bathroom just in time and sure enough every bit of that chicken came back up.  I knew better, garlic is definitely one of the culprits since I don't seem to do well with anything in garlic either.  Immediately after I couldn't stand that taste in my mouth so I grabbed a sugar-free orange popsicle and felt better right away.  I drank probably 3 1/2 - 16oz bottles that day, so for me that was very successful.  

Today, I feel so much better.  I good night's rest and feeling less stressed has made all the difference.  I was going to do a 5K today, but felt that my three work-out sessions this week were sufficient and that I would most definitely go to the gym tomorrow instead.

Walking, a whole other world to me now.  I had been part of a walking group on campus, where I work over the summer months and at my heaviest I was struggling to keep up with the group.  I would have to always turn back mid-way and start heading back because I wasn't fast enough to keep up with the faster walkers.  The other day a co-worker and myself did an entire walk that would have been done with my group, plus the walk back to our building in 45mins....I was talking the entire time and felt great!  The other walks were about 1hr. 10mins for me to complete so the difference to me is staggering, to say in the least.  55lbs. sure makes a difference and it has made the difference!  I feel so much better.  

For those still wondering if they should do this surgery - I'm telling you it is exactly what someone needs that has any issues with weight or food.  I know I am still in the beginning process and have a ways to go to show the final results, but I have NEVER lost 55lbs. before and lord knows I've been on enough diets in my lifetime where I could have had the opportunity to lose the weight.  I think the best I ever did was nearly 30lbs a couple of different occasions.  

2 weeks after surgery

So, again, for comparison purposes, I am going to post some pictures again so you can see the results thus far:

Before at my heaviest

8/27/12 - 4 weeks after surgery

10/11/12 - 11 weeks after surgery

I think the visual is always important.  It is nice to mention no more blood pressure meds, I've lost 6 inches off my waist, my shoe size has already dropped a half size.

Super excited and happy at where I am at for me.  Remember, this is only about yourself and no one else.  No one else can tell you what to do with your body, but when you are indeed ready to take on this challenge, just think of all other things you can achieve once this achievement has been succeeded?!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems, Author Unknown

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK. 

If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't;
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose you're lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind. 

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can. 

My first plateau, so frustrating

So, it finally happened my first plateau!  It's not a great feeling, but at the same time I know it's to be expected.  I have now just started to really introduce working out to my schedule, so I am hoping that'll change it up to where I can start seeing the scale drop more.  However, on the plus side in a good way, my clothes keep getting bigger, so I am convinced even though one doesn't lose weight all the time, the inches continue to go away.

I feel a lot better than nearly 50lbs ago.  When I walked the treadmill yesterday for a total of 40 mins, I did not feel any pain whatsoever on my knees or fatigue at all.  If I had walked that before, I'd feel and my body would have hated me.  So much more energy and that overall feeling of tiredness and fatigue does not occur like it did before.

So, as I write this I am planning to go to the gym a total of 4 times per week, 1hr. per day.  I am starting out slowly to work up my stamina and strength.  Eventually I would like to be able to have the stamina and strength to enjoy day long hikes here for next summer.  Alaska has so many wonderful hiking trails, but sadly I have to really explore them since my arrival over two years ago.  Being too heavy prevented me from feeling like I could be any fun to explore with.  So, my vow is by next summer, I will conquer and hike like I've never done before!

This is a short entry today, because the frustration of this latest plateau has really diminished my excitement.  The emotional roller coaster of diets in general is not my favorite issue and in years past this is usually where I'd give up and say the heck with it.  However, I have to tell myself I have never lost 49lbs all at once before and this is to be expected.  I am not "cheating" and that is why I still get frustrated.  I am getting in about 50-60grams of protein per day and my liquids are still a struggle.  I am lucky if I get 30-40oz of fluids per day.

I am still having bouts of eating something one day, it agrees with me, and then the very next day I eat it again and boom, doesn't agree with me.  It's also frustrating.  Don't ever go buy a lot of what you think will agree with you, because it doesn't always mean it will.

When I started this blog, my intention was to state all the positives and negatives so others could see the possible journey they could have.  If you're like me, knowing a lot of the ups and downs to a process can help you better prepare for what lies ahead.  I still feel there is nothing like experiencing it though.  The psychological aspect is more than I thought it would be.  I feel great, my clothes are all getting too big for me and I am complimented daily on how much I've changed.  However, that stupid scale still doesn't have the numbers I want yet and that has always been a battle for me.

At least it's not that number I saw three months ago!  That's all the matters right now.  I am not on blood pressure meds anymore and the worst of the surgery is behind me.  Moving ahead, will get through this!