Support Meetings-finding their real value

Hello!

Well, I have to admit I had a crummy attitude about the support groups aspect of this journey.  I had been a part of Weight Watchers several times over, and have found the meeting helpful and knowledgeable but I guess my failure to be successful myself has led me to dislike anything that I felt was a part of that failure.  Come to find out, no one wants to hear the truth sometimes.  

As a part of the requirement with the surgeon I'm with for the Gastric Bypass, I am required to attend at least 3 support meetings in order to be eligible to clear the final hurdle to get submitted to the Insurance company.  I attended one last week, which was a fiasco and did not leave me feeling motivated whatsoever.  It didn't help that there were only 5 people at that meeting and the so-called post surgery example was not much of a motivator to me at all.  She had her surgery two years ago, had lost 40lbs before surgery and has only managed to lose 60lbs with the Gastric Bypass.  I heard her stories of "juicing" herself to 3-4,000 calories per day and other things that had given her roadblocks along the way.  She talked about chewing the food but not swallowing, just spitting it out.  Sorry, not a motivator for me.

However, today turned out much better.  I opted to do a one hour support meeting at 12 noon today and then another one tonight with my husband and both groups were extremely motivating.  The first group has about 30 people and there were also a couple of wives/husbands there for moral support with their loved ones.  Alot was discussed about the topic "Meal Planning".  I shared the Protein book I purchased last weekend as it has a lot of really good recipes and descriptions of how to up your protein and lower your carbs.  I am seeing familiar faces at the office more and more as my visits are now in the neighborhood of 6 or so now.  I can see how close-knit this family of people that go through this together.  Tonight, along with my husband we both gained so much insight from some other couples that attended also.  One lady had lost over 150lbs 11 years ago on the Gastric Bypass.  She said she had been told then she only had a month to live and it was literally their last option.  The woman sitting next to me looked nothing like that very large woman 11 years ago.  She was thin, beautiful skin, happy, energetic, and truly grateful for her new lease on life.  She said she doesn't even remember that woman back then anymore.  She handed around her before picture to the whole group and I'm telling you it was a good one.  There were even a few guys at both meetings today too.  You can tell the men really don't feel comfortable being there, but they too are sick of not being able to do certain things and will do anything, even talk in a support group if they have to.  One gentleman told us about how humiliating it was to have to buy two plane seats.  He said what really made him mad was that the airline attendants would even have the nerve to try and give his seat away sometimes.  How awful would that be?!  Another lady mentioned how there are usually only 8 extenders for seatbelts on flights and that you better get one up front or else you might not get one!  I know personally the last few times I've flown that I sucked it in and crammed that seatbelt and even one flight didn't fasten it because there was no way was I going to admit that I needed an extender.  It just wasn't something I wanted to ask for.  It would be nice, the next time I fly home to have to tighten that sucker up!

Well, I just wanted to jump on here and talk about the support groups as I hope everyone will be as lucky to have one in their areas when your time comes.  As I write these postings, I want to give people all that one sees and does during this process.  I'll tell you something now though, it is alot of work and I'm not even there yet!  All the doctor's visits, testing, support group meetings, research, etc... in itself is a full-time job.  You have to be really committed if you come this far.  It's not a quick fix and it's not an easy one, they make you work for it!  I keep telling myself that it'll be so worth it and I'm worth it!  Time for me!!!

Yay for me!

Until next time...

Hello again!

So I have just two more support groups to go and one check-in with a different doctor's office to get cleared before they submit my information to the insurance.  At this point, I am trying to transition into a lower carb diet, since two weeks prior to my surgery I will be placed on a 30g carbs/day diet.  This is to "shrink" all the fatty tissues in your buddy so the surgeon can easily access where he needs to go when they "cut" you open.  I didn't realize how many carbs I ate, was totally oblivious.  Just breakfast alone today, which was two eggs, and 2 pieces of whole wheat toast was a total of 75g!  I have some weening to do.  My strategy, and has been the last few weeks is each time I go to the grocery store I ciest buying something else that I normally would have in the house.  Today my mission will to be find a bread of some sort that has less than 18g per slice.  I am also finding that the 64oz. of water I'll have to drink post surgery will be another struggle.  They are saying in some resources I am finding online that you have to drink all of it, but when you are drinking your water you can only take two mouthfuls at a time.  Another area I'll struggle as I usually "guzzle" my water bottle to make up for not drinking enough up to that point of the day.  So, I will have to find some type of water mug that has the lines so I can know for certain what 64oz. of water looks like!

I have been actively seeking out hikes and great walks in my area to help me get into something I enjoy doing while exercising.  That was one good bit of advice someone had at the support meeting I did attend...find exercise you like to do or else you may not find the motivation to exercise at all.  This is true.  I do enjoy swimming immensely, however, at the moment cannot stand to look at myself in a bathing suit (First time in my life I've ever allowed that to affect me to actually do it).  So, I need to wait until I'm down 20-30lbs before I venture to that pathway.  Doing this research is helping me tune my mind into where/what/when/how I need to do things in the weeks before/during/after the surgery.  Being mentally prepared is so important, not only for the success I hope to obtain but for the safety during/after the surgery.  It still has an element of danger as anytime we go in for any surgery there are always chances things can go wrong.  Doing whatever I can to minimize that from happening is something I need to.  I know it sounds morbid, but I also want to ensure I have a living will along with the normal will in case anything happens.  I do not want my husband or family to have to make any decisions if for some odd reason I don't fare well.  I don't want to think negatively about this aspect, but it is a possibility and not preparing for it is not coming to terms with the seriousness of the surgery.  However, I have great confidence I will soar through this process and be on here posting all the wonderful liquids I have been consuming the days to follow the surgery. 

This will be a new lease on life!  No more back pains, no more tiredness, no more hating the department stores for the lack of cute things in my size, no more "noes" when asked if I want to do a run/walk/hike, etc...  No more NO!  I was never like this before and I don't like this world of "no, i can't do it".  Nothing has held me back before, and I need to do this because I don't want the second half of my life succumbing to this lifestyle of "I can't.".  What's the point of living if you deny yourself the simple pleasures in life?  I'd love to run in the park with my niece climbing up on the monkey bars with her and not worrying about what everyone is thinking.  Or be on a beach in the Caribbean with my husband and knowing the bathing suit is just fine.  Or being at the mall and telling the sales clerk that I need a smaller size, the one I have on is too big!  Vision is a powerful tool and it is a great way to get psyched up. 

So my mission this week is to meals to be up to 55g/day of carbs.  I just bought a book yesterday that has tons of this information about high proteins and low carbs recipes and meal plans.  I am going to conquer this!

Until next time....

My First Post...

Hi There!

As I write this and reflect to how I got to this point, I am sure it will be a familiar story as I find more people out there like myself.  Years of yo-yo dieting, literal ups and downs and as I approach 40yrs. old I have come to realize the madness needs to stop!

I shouldn't be so hard on myself, like any normal person I've had many events, both good and bad occur in the past ten years.  In fact, my life in the past ten years has been anything but normal.  I have had owned my own business, become very successful, semi-retired, bankrupcy, re-invented myself and experienced loss/gains since then.  I have learned alot about myself, more so in the last year than the previous ten that I just came from.  Many of these realizations have actually carried forward from the time I was a teenager.

I loved my childhood, but I now realize a lot of what got me to this place stems from those days.  I was in a big family (four kids) and had two great parents that to this day remain married and happy.  By all accounts I had a wonderful childhood, everything I could ever want: nice clothes, toys, hobbies, good education, great family and friends, and I was also very active in sports.  One tiny little detail though, my parents always talked about not being fat.  "You don't want to end up looking like me." my father would always say.  I remember several times being put on diets because I was getting too fat.  As I think of it now and being a teenager at around 150lbs, today I would not consider that fat by any means.  There was too much emphasis on how we looked and how we should look.  Unfortunately, for my father, who is now 69 years old, he has poor health and relating to being overweight..  If I keep going down the same road, I too will end up there just as easily.  My parents meant well and I do not like to speak ill of them publicly, but their comments and focuses on our weight and what we ate as children did not help us later in life.  We couldn't control ourselves when bad foods were in the house, we would scarf it down because it was there.  We were not taught moderation, or self-control.  It was either there, or it wasn't.  But when it was we couldn't get enough because we had been deprived.  My mother, on the other hand, was always thin never had to worry about her weight, at least in her adult years.  She was a chubby child, but managed to slim down and has been healthy almost her entire adult life.  She too always placed an emphasis on eating and looking good.  A mother who loved to shop, she would take us shopping for clothes and would always make comments like, "When you lose a few pounds you will look better in this."  In spite of their comments and actions,we were rewarded for good actions and accomplishments with "treats".  These treats may have been a chocolate bar, an frozen drink, chips, McDonalds, anything food-related.  Looking back now, I think that was a source of gratification that was introduced to me at a young age and since then continues to be the case today.  My two sisters have both said they are guilty of this too.  They both are not at their ideal weights either but are not as far gone as I am.  They too continue a cycle of constant dieting followed by weight gain and then all over again.  My brother has faired better, however his career is that of a golf pro, so he is more active in his lifestyle.  However, he too has times when he needs to watch his intake as well.  He has a very sweet tooth and I know this is from our treat days when we were children.  I remember one birthday my mother gave him a choice of whether he wanted a real birthday party with all his friends, or a smaller party with a couple of friends and two birthday cakes instead.  Well, of course he picked the two birthday cakes.  He was a thin child, but once he turned into and adult things caught up with him.  But I can't blame my parents for all our weight issues, because simply back then, we didn't know what we do now.  In today's world there is so much information that as a parent of today they're should be no problems (which is not the case, obesity in children is alarming and I've never seen so many overweight children in my life).  We saw chubby kids when I was growing up, but not obese children like we do nowadays.  I am pretty sure Fast Food, Computers, and two working parents contribute to this epidemic we are facing now.  I have also seen too many people plop their kids in front of the tv, computer, and video games and let these mediums "babysit" their own children.  I may not be a parent today, but to me this is a recipe for overweight children. 

In my adult life I have gone through many phases of being fit, not being fit, eating right and not eating so right.  Finally in my 30's it caught up to me.  I have developed some bad eating habits with a lack of exercise which makes you feel less energetic and you eat more and do even less.  And that is where I am today.  I don't even want to say what I weight anymore, only my doctors and husband know and I am ready to do something about it once and for all!

It all really began again ten years ago when I owned my own business and was working 60-80hrs/week.  I did not eat until the end of the day, and at that we ate out on the way home as we were too tired to even think about making a late dinner at home.  I sat at my desk 12-14hrs./day and got little to no exercise.  After the first two years, I had gained about 50lbs.  Since then, my weight has crept up another 30-40lbs.

About seven months ago, after a rough fall I began to think seriously about the Gastric Bypass surgery.  I knew a few people at the University I work at and watched their progress which was  so amazing that it has motivated me to do the same.  I had thought of it off/on for many years, but had always figured I could diet/exercise instead.  Also, I hadn't known anyone yet who had done it personally therefore didn't understand the procedure.  However, once making the decision to move forward and began this process, I have not looked back.

I have just had my final six-month appointment with my regular doctor.  These are required to log in your daily eating logs and be weighed in and coached on better ways to improve your lifestyle.  Also, the insurance companies require this as a must have before you have the surgery.  In this time, you cannot gain more weight and show some sense of better eating habits.  I will be honest I haven't ended up any better yet as I have battled one of the worst winters in Alaska in recent history and some rough patches of work-related issues.  I had lost a co-worker last fall and it really wreak havoc in my work life and personal life as I mourned for his loss.  I did not realize how much this individual affected my everyday life before/after his death.  I threw myself into my work and tried in vain to "save" our workplace which also suffered another long term employee's departure.  I had just previously lost 25lbs on Weight Watchers and thought I was on my way to a better me.  However, obviously stress has never been a friend of mine and the fall/winter months saw a pattern of me gaining that weight back.  I understand I am not superwoman, but I have tendencies that make me forget about myself and try to control everything else.  I will have to control stress in other ways, so this will be part of progress in this journey. 

I will try and share this experience as I go through each step.  I did not find enough information on people who had gone through the same process and feel it is important to share as much as I can while I am going through it at the time.  I know I have a long hard road ahead of me, but I know I am worth it and I do want to be around for a long time to come.

So please join me on my journey:)  See you next time!

Daphne